Thursday, October 22, 2015

be still my soul...

This old hymn has been on my mind the past couple days...
this verse in particular.
Last night I made this little picture of said verse...
and then I opened my Bible to read a little before bed.
I've been reading through the gospels again.
Want to guess what chapter I "happened" to be ready to read?
Luke 8
In this chapter is one of the records of Jesus rebuking the wind & waves.
(Don't you just love when the Lord causes these little "coincidences"?)
{Luke 8:22-25 NASB}
"Now on one of those days Jesus and His disciples got into a boat, and He said to them, “Let us go over to the other side of the lake.” So they launched out.
But as they were sailing along He fell asleep; and a fierce gale of wind descended on the lake, and they began to be swamped and to be in danger.
They came to Jesus and woke Him up, saying, “Master, Master, we are perishing!” And He got up and rebuked the wind and the surging waves, and they stopped, and it became calm.
And He said to them, “Where is your faith?” They were fearful and amazed, saying to one another,
 “Who then is this, that He commands even the winds and the water, and they obey Him?”
Who indeed?
My Lord & my God.
He Who can calm the wind & surging waves can certainly calm my little heart.
Hearts are funny little things aren't they?
You can know something in your mind, but hearts are awful slow in getting the message.
I've just been pondering these verses & thoughts.
Nothing too deep or concrete to share...
I found this lovely rendition of this much loved hymn.
I've no idea who this gal is, and some extra words have been added.
I usually don't like when people add to old hymns
(I'm just not big on change. ;P )
but I don't think any harm has been done here. ;)

And now I'm going to sleep.

(Well...probably listen to this song a few times...but...)


Wednesday, October 14, 2015

love is strong as death...

I was afraid the words may have been running out...
in near panic I wrote that thought in the notebook I had been feverishly writing in.
I asked the Lord to continue to teach me.
He's taught me so many invaluable lessons.
He answered.
He gave me more words to write down.
Oh, I thought, but these are far too personal to share with anyone else.
So, I selfishly hoarded them to myself in my little book.
Old sins die hard.
I've always been selfish with my thoughts & words.
They are such a window into our very hearts, are they not?
After a couple days of selfish hoarding I had quite a hard day yesterday emotionally.
My flesh continued to wage war against me & what I know to be true.
I wondered why I couldn't just do a half-hearted attempt at Christianity as others seem to be able to do.
But then I was reminded that
I am not my own.
I am His.
He owns me.
He bought me with a price.
I am His & He is mine.
He loves me...with love as strong as death.
stronger than actually.
Last evening when I was so deep in the trenches of warfare against self
the Lord gave me Mr. Spurgeon's evening devotion from his book "Morning & Evening"
(a Christmas gift from Momma)
The text was
"Love is strong as death" Song of Solomon 8:6
Let me share it with you as it meant so very much to me.
"WHOSE love can this be which is as mighty as the conqueror of monarchs, the destroyer of the human race? Would it not sound like satire if it were applied to my poor, weak, and scarcely living love to Jesus my Lord? I do love Him, and perhaps by His grace, I could even die for Him, but as for my love in itself, it can scarcely endure a scoffing jest, much less a cruel death. Surely it is my Beloved's love which is here spoken of—the love of Jesus, the matchless lover of souls. His love was indeed stronger than the most terrible death, for it endured the trial of the cross triumphantly. It was a lingering death, but love survived the torment; a shameful death, but love despised the shame; a penal death, but love bore our iniquities; a forsaken, lonely death, from which the eternal Father hid His face, but love endured the curse, and gloried over all. Never such love, never such death. It was a desperate duel, but love bore the palm. What then, my heart? Hast thou no emotions excited within thee at the contemplation of such heavenly affection? Yes, my Lord, I long, I pant to feel Thy love flaming like a furnace within me. Come Thou Thyself and excite the ardour of my spirit.
"For every drop of crimson blood
Thus shed to make me live,
O wherefore, wherefore have not I
A thousand lives to give?"

Why should I despair of loving Jesus with a love as strong as death? He deserves it: I desire it. The martyrs felt such love, and they were but flesh and blood, then why not I? They mourned their weakness, and yet out of weakness were made strong. Grace gave them all their unflinching constancy—there is the same grace for me. Jesus, lover of my soul, shed abroad such love, even Thy love in my heart, this evening."
~C.H. Spurgeon
Love so amazing.
Then I was also reminded that unfaithfulness does not go unpunished.
(I should know...)
And the longer you go on in unfaithfulness the worse the consequences will be.
And just because it seems that others are getting away with bad behavior doesn't mean that is so.
If you are the Lord's
you are just that
And He will bring you back into His fold no matter what it takes.
Because He IS faithful.
Even when we are not.
"Oh, Love that will not let me go
I rest my weary soul in Thee
I give Thee back the life I owe..."
{Thank you Lord for not letting go of me in Your awesome love that passes knowledge.
Even if I think I'd like You to loosen Your grip...
thank You that You don't always give me what I think I want.
Draw me ever nearer, Sweet Lord.}
Another well beloved hymn comes to mind...

This is not the melody I'm used to hearing with this hymn,
but it is such a beautiful one that I immediately fell in love with it.
"Were the whole realm of nature mine
that were an offering far too small
Love so amazing so divine
demands my soul, my life, my all."
Love demands my soul!
My life. My all.

Friday, October 9, 2015


if God isn't moving the mountain we want Him to...
it's because He wants to take our hand and guide us to the summit.
He's saying "climb, My child."
And when we are tired, and our foot begins to slip...
He will not let us fall.
He will carry us.
{When I was a little girl most hikes ended with my earthly father carrying me.}
there is something He want to show us from that great height...
that we could never see in the deep forest at the mountain's base.
our faces will shine with a reflection of His glory when He brings us back down...
so that we may be better able to tell others of His truth.
{"...when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the Rock that is higher than I." Psalm 61:2}
when God doesn't allow us to speak...
to tell someone all that we think needs said...
it's because He has things far better that He wants to tell them.
Things not so very full to the brim & overflowing with us.
when He closes our mouths...
it's because of unbelief...
like Zacharias when he failed to believe the word of the Lord through Gabriel.
when our tongues are loosed...
may they be ever full of praises....
as his was.
when He lets us be hungry...
it's because He wants to fill us with something far greater that our necessary food...
He wants to make us understand that we do not live by mere bread...
but by every word from His beautiful mouth.
{Deuteronomy 8:3} {Job 23:12}

Wednesday, October 7, 2015

"what if my greatest dissapointments or the aching of this life is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy?"

Last night just while I was drifting off to sleep I was listening to this song.
Then it would end and I would have to hit the replay button again...
and then again...
and again...
It's such a lovely song.
And it's funny cuz all the "what ifs" in this song aren't really a question in my mind.
I know that they are the truth.
I know it.
And yet...
I go from times of resting in them...
to anguish again over the fear of loss.
I know that God is sovereign.
I know His ways are right & good.
But oh. My flesh.
It wages war against me & what I know to be true.
I earnestly pray "Not my will but Thine be done, Sweet Lord."
And I mean it.
But my selfish will still has a way of weaseling it's way back into the forefront of my mind.
I run to His word & find great solace there.
It seems as soon as I close it & go about my work I'm back at square one.
{Oh Lord. You are so patient with me.
Keep me resting in Your promises.
They are true & steadfast
Because You, Oh Lord, are sovereign & unchanging.}
And then as invariable happens I feel the overwhelming urge to praise my sweet Savior.
The last two songs from Handel's Messiah popped into my head so I had to listen to them too.
The wonderful thing about Handel's Messiah is that it is God's word.
Set to beautiful & stirring music.
Music is such a powerful thing, is it not?
Sometimes I have to listen to it as loud as I can possibly take it
& just feel the triumphant chords echoing in my chest cavity. Yeah, I'm weird, I know. ;)
These precious words of praise to the Lamb that was slain are from Revelation 5:9-11
I can not wait to sing those words to Jesus & my Father in Heaven.
I'm guessing it probably won't be to Handel's tune...
but I'm sure the Heavenly tune will be more beautiful & glorious than this little mind can comprehend.
I sincerely hope I'm not irritating anyone with all these words that keep pouring out of me.
(Well, it's not like you have to read any of this. lol)
I just feel so full of them that I think I might burst if I don't find some outlet for them.
I marvel at how every one of these lines of thought leads to praise.
It is as it should be, I know...
but I still stand amazed.

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

faith like hannah...

Sometimes the pain comes like contractions...
I'm brought to my knees like woman in travail.
I plead with God for deliverance.
Then He reminds me that this is only momentary...
{2 Corinthians 4:17}
soon the pain will give way to great joy...
the reward of the labor...
precious as a newborn child...
to be given back to my Lord...
as Hannah's beloved Samuel...
{1 Samuel 1-2:11}
Could I leave my little son "to minister to the Lord" and go back home?
{1 Samuel 2:11}
She had so longed for a child.
She poured out her soul before God. {1:15}
She only kept him 'til he was weaned...
that's not so very long...
but then what is time?
We aren't guaranteed any sure amount of it.
It's all in the Lord's most capable hands.
It's His to give as He sees fit.
What a testimony this woman has.
I can't quite wrap my mind around her beautiful song of thanksgiving...
{1 Samuel 2:1-10 (NASB)}
Then Hannah prayed and said,
            “My heart exults in the LORD;
            My horn is exalted in the LORD,
            My mouth speaks boldly against my enemies,
            Because I rejoice in Your salvation.
      “There is no one holy like the LORD,
            Indeed, there is no one besides You,
            Nor is there any rock like our God.
      “Boast no more so very proudly,
            Do not let arrogance come out of your mouth;
            For the LORD is a God of knowledge,
            And with Him actions are weighed.
      “The bows of the mighty are shattered,
            But the feeble gird on strength.
      “Those who were full hire themselves out for bread,
            But those who were hungry cease to hunger.
            Even the barren gives birth to seven,
            But she who has many children languishes.
      “The LORD kills and makes alive;
            He brings down to Sheol and raises up.
      “The LORD makes poor and rich;
            He brings low, He also exalts.
      “He raises the poor from the dust,
            He lifts the needy from the ash heap
            To make them sit with nobles,
            And inherit a seat of honor;
            For the pillars of the earth are the LORD’S,
            And He set the world on them.
      “He keeps the feet of His godly ones,
            But the wicked ones are silenced in darkness;
            For not by might shall a man prevail.
      “Those who contend with the LORD will be shattered;
            Against them He will thunder in the heavens,
            The LORD will judge the ends of the earth;
            And He will give strength to His king,
            And will exalt the horn of His anointed.”

This O.T. saint knew her God.
She knew experientially that
belongs to God.
Even her well-beloved son.
She knew that there was no better place for her little one
than squarely within the Lord's will for him.
He had big plans for little Samuel.
What a lesson to be learned here...

{Deuteronomy 10:14 (NASB)}
"Behold, to the LORD your God belong heaven and the highest heavens,
 the earth and all that is in it."

...that's pretty inclusive...

...Just a little rabbit trail of thought
that my Lord led me down...
to comfort me.


Saturday, October 3, 2015

i'm thankful...

I'm thankful that He made me weak...
that His power might be mightily shown.
{2 Corinthians 12:9+10}
I'm thankful that He made me small...
that His greatness may be magnified.
(as the small fish & few loaves made to feed a multitude)
{Mark 8:7}
I'm thankful that He made me lowly...
(though I'm not even as lowly as I need be)
that I might know how very high He is.
{Psalm 138:6}
I'm thankful that He made me childlike...
that He, my Father, may be trusted in all things.
{Matthew 11:25}
I'm thankful that He gave me a quiet life...
that He may be all people hear in me,
& that I may clearly hear His voice.
{1 Thessalonians 4:11}
I'm thankful that He made me to know the very brief span of my intellect...
that I do not try to confine Him or His thoughts and ways within that infinitesimal sphere.
{Romans 11:33-36}
I'm thankful that He made me loving...
that I might have an inkling of His great love,
and I strive to exhibit His perfect Calvary Love more and more in my hopelessly imperfect way.
{1 John 4:7-14}
I'm thankful for the "talents" He's entrusted to this unworthy servant...
that I may strive to double them before my Master's return.
{Matthew 25:14-23}
I'm thankful that He keeps this heart that is prone to wander on a short tether...
because He is faithful to complete the work begun in me.
{Philippians 1:6}
I'm thankful that He, the King, made me His daughter...
that I can only be joined to an approved suitor, for the furtherance of His Kingdom.
If He so chooses to join me to one of His sons.
If not...
I can wait 'til I'm joined, with the rest of His church, to His most Beloved Son,
Who gave His life to ransom mine.
" the praise of the glory of His grace..."
{1 John 3:1+2} {Ephesians 5:27}
Caleb & I broke up nearly 2 weeks ago.
We had a disagreement.
I don't know what the end result of this will be yet.
The Lord has taught me so much through this.
I just wanted to share...
to testify...
of what He has been teaching me.
Many psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs have been a great blessing.
This one is particularly dear at the moment.
Please be praying for us both.
That the Lord's power would be perfected in our weakness.
For His glory.